15 days to 50.
I spent the weekend away from my precious Vitamix. For some reason this gave me the brazen idea that I could and should eat (and drink) all kinds of things that I don’t really eat or drink anymore. It started with donuts my first morning away. Sure, they seemed to be the only consumable food products in the house I was staying in and one donut won’t change anything for me, but it set a precedent for the entire weekend.
On that first day I found myself eating things like cookies- (it was the fourth of July! They had red white and blue frosting!), ice cream cake (?), chips and salsa, and drinking local Portland beer.
By the second day I was CRAVING green juice. We went shopping in town and I located a juice bar that claimed they would add “greens” to any of their mostly fruit juices. It wasn’t really that green, but I was thrilled to get some vegetables. That night we went to the opening party for WDS at the Portland Zoo and they provided odd meals for us. I had some strange noodle concoction and 2 glasses of mediocre wine. I was so absolutely unsatisfied that I bought Nacho Cheese Doritos AND Snickers bites while we were waiting for the train.
The rest of the weekend went downhill from there. By the time I got home I was literally sick. I am astounded by how much what I eat affects the general way I feel. I haven’t been depriving myself the last few months, I’ve just learned how to eat responsibly. My body started craving vegetables instead of sugar and salt. I lost my taste for wine every night. I have been feeling fantastic and I didn’t even realize it until I sabotaged my body by eating junk.
I’m finding that it is a process to get back to eating healthy again. Just a few days of eating all kinds of junk not only made me feel terrible, but it brought up a lot of complex emotions for me. The premise that I should treat myself to some french fries because I’ve had a hard morning, or the negotiation that a little candy bar won’t do much harm.
I actually found myself standing in front of the specials board at our favorite cafe seriously contemplating the BLT sandwich with potato salad at lunch today. I don’t eat meat. I do still eat some fish, but I haven’t had meat in many months. I try not to judge other people harshly when I see them anchoring the majority of their meal with an animal. I wondered how I would justify this to myself, this BLT sandwich (with avocado). “If I really want this I will crave it for days and end up eating something much worse.” As if anything is “worse” than the fattiest part of a pig. In the end I ordered a fish sandwich, which is bad but not horrific. Tomorrow is a whole new chance to try again.
It’s amazing how quickly the mind will switch gears and fall back into old habits. Certainly a treat now and then is necessary and benign, but overall I want to feel good and eating junk doesn’t accomplish that goal.
Happily my Vitamix is once again my new best friend.