On Not Getting What You Expect

14 days to 50.

Tonight I made the long trek across town to Yoga West, the Kundalini studio where I did teacher training earlier this year to see one of my mentors, Guru Singh. He sent an e-mail on Monday detailing his schedule and he was supposed to be there tonight. I arrived to find his sidekick on stage instead of him. Guru Singh has been away for the better part of a month and I have been craving his teachings. He lectures for over an hour in his classes and he has a full band come up on stage to play live while we chant mantras. His classes are magical.

So I have to admit I had some disappointment when I saw he wasn’t teaching class tonight. But I am trying to be a good yogi so I found a spot and hoped for the best. His sidekick does not teach in the same style at all. But I was open to a new experience. Part of being a good Kundalini Yoga teacher is taking classes with all kinds of different teachers. There is always something to learn each and every one of them.

He spoke quite a bit about the mantra “I Am.” This is something that every human repeats to themselves multiple times a day every day. These could all have a negative slant-

I am afraid.

I am fat.

I am not good enough.

I am a terrible cook.

Of course, they could also be positive-

I am grateful

I am a great friend

I am worthy

It really made me think about what I am telling myself every day. How many “I Am” thoughts are positive? How many are negative?

These words are very powerful. We manifest what we believe to be true. By watching these words, by watching what I am telling myself every day I can start to correct my statements. Instead of “I am afraid” I can say “I am fearless”. Or given my current situation, I can change “I am old” to “I am exactly the right age.”

These words are kind of a twist on the “If Only” statements I’ve reverted to my entire life, just repackaged in action form. I can go from “If Only I wasn’t afraid of this situation” to “I am prepared to handle this situation.”


He also said that once you start to change the way you speak to yourself, the way you use “I Am” that your life will start to change. People will begin to appear in your life to help you manifest your dreams. You just need to have the courage to change the script from a negative form to a positive form.

So, even though my Master Teacher wasn’t leading the class tonight I still received the master teachings I was meant to receive.

I am grateful for the gift that came from not getting what I expected tonight.

  • Maaureen Pedone

    Laura –
    I just started reading all your blogs – you are a wonderfully wise woman. That phrase, I AM” reminded me of when Demian was born. The birth announcement I made simply said, “And the earth resounds with the joyful cry ,I AM!” That’s all it needs to be – no descriptions attached, just the joy, gratitude and awareness of being. We were destined to be friends – thank you!

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