Proof of My Imperfections

13 days to 50.

I am an imperfect human being. I counted backwards on a calendar to find the date to start my 40 days to 50 countdown and I realized several days ago that I miscounted and was off by one day this entire time. So I did what any self respecting mathematician would do and went back to correct my mistake on each and every post that was incorrect. This left one lonely day with no post. I wrote an emergency post on the airplane to Portland last weekend so I just inserted that post in day 2.

Then I started second guessing myself. I’m new to this and I don’t know much about blogging but I’m pretty sure back-dating a post and changing all your dates to make a perfect timeline is breaking all kinds of ethical blogger codes. My blogging education consists of an e-course 5 years ago with Holly Becker of Decor8 and a 90 minute packed class at last weekend’s World Domination Summit on Blogging for Profit. (When asked to turn to the person next to us and describe our highest traffic day I turned to my neighbor and told her I didn’t have any traffic. She thought this was charming.)

Why this quest for perfection anyway? What does it matter if my timeline is not perfect? If my 40 days to 50 is really 39 days to 50? Will anyone like me less? Will this decrease my traffic from 0 readers to -20 readers? I decided on my drive home from Bikram Yoga tonight that changing dates isn’t honest or truthful. I’m doing this 40 day project to find my truth. To get to the core of who I really am so I will be able to be comfortable with myself on my big 50th birthday.

I changed every post back to the way it was several days ago. My emergency post (I bet every blogger who challenges themselves to write EVERY DAY has such a post on standby) is once again a draft waiting for the stars to align so that it may once again be released into the ethers.

There isn’t a post that starts with 16 days to 50. I am not perfect. But at least I am once again honest. Today, this is my truth.

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